The Other day I was blow drying my hair; as I have taken to doing in the cold winter. And I heard some words creep out of my mouth.
They were a prayer.
They prayed, that"Whatever's God's Will was, I would follow it, if He showed me the way".... I turned off my hair dryer and looked in the mirror a moment...These words did not come from me....
This is in fact, the second time the Holy Spirit has Commandeered my tongue.. The first being the day that I came to know Jesus, against my every wishes not to be in relationship with this "God" people spoke of, in a moment of pure desperation where I lost control of my ability to verbalize, the Holy Spirit awoke inside me and took over.. The words That sprang from the wellspring of life that day were "I need God".. My mind kept saying "No you don't! stop saying that!" But I was beyond control... "I need God" "I need God" I need God" I couldn't stop.... it was frightening and peaceful at the same time.. ( See my Blog Post "What Now" for more on this moment)
Any who... I have been mighty hormonal lately... Or so I thought...
I have been crying at the drop of a hat... Episodes of Futurama are making me cry, movie previews are making me cry... My emotions are haywire.. and for awhile.. I didn't know what was going on with me...
Until last Sunday in Church,
I was standing, singing along with the praise songs, when all of the sudden I started to feel... I felt everyone in the room, I felt their anguish, their struggles, their joys, their triumphs, their past, their present..." My body trembled, my soul ached, my heart broke and I began to sob... I ran out of the room, I found a quiet corner in the corridor outside the fellowship hall and I fell to the ground and wept.
"Jesus Wept"
John 11:35
I crumbled under the majesty of it all.. I felt what God's heart felt when He looked at us, I felt what He felt when He wrapped himself in flesh and walked among us, I felt the ache, I felt the Love, I felt the overwhelming majesty of it all... My heart is finally breaking for what breaks His, what I have been blaming hormones for this whole time may just be an answered prayer of the spirit within me.
He is showing me THE WAY, He is showing me HIS WILL.. and it is simply......
US
How much time then are we spending actually looking at, listening to, being there for each other????
"If we Have No Peace it is Because We Have Forgotten We Belong To Each Other"
-Mother Teresa
My prayer for humanity is that we do small things with great love everyday, that we look away from ourselves to see the majesty and beauty in everyone, that we act in kindness, compassion, that we are patient and loving, that we are slow to anger, that we listen to needs that need to be met all around us, that we pick up the messes of humanity, one loving relationship at a time.. one gentle encounter at a time...
WE are treasured, We are valued, We are loved... and we need to show eachother that we are NOT ALONE.
WE are in this together.
I have learned a lot about what makes a team/ a family strong.. I have learned a lot about seeing needs and filling them. I've learned a lot about compassion and how far a smile can go in someone's day. Everyday is a challenge and a triumph, It's full of anguish and joy.. because it's filled with people and the needs of others. I have been forced to look beyond myself.. and I feel something awakening inside me.. I feel growth, I feel discovery... And after 28+years of life.. I think I am finally learning what it truly means to be me, and to be human.
I pray for similar revelations for others... That we see needs and we fill them, that we look to others, and in doing so find our worth, as Jesus sees us. I pray we all know, see and feel that, (again)
We are Treasured, We are Valued, We are Loved.
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