Dry Land

All of you eyes out there and inquiring minds have probably noticed the latest and newest development in my life, my newly changed relationship status...

I want to dive into that a little bit and allow those of you who haven't been around me for the last 3 months or so to see how this may have occurred...

I know several people are afraid for me out there, a lot of you are unsure about whether or not I am guarding my heart or not, but I want you all to know that God is in this and that you can trust that I am holding him as the center of every move I make in my life... and God's love never fails...

Awhile ago I blogged about this trip I went on to Alta California, where I stated that God "put me in a cabin with a bunch of boys and let me heal"... well... one of those boys was my NOW boyfriend.. Ethan...

Funny thing is.. he completely snuck up on me... which is how my family tells me.. it's suppose to happen...

I wasn't at a point in my life where I was pursuing anything or anyone.. I was perfectly content with who I was, where I was, and I knew God had someone for me but I wasn't anxious (contrary to popular belief)

You see, for a short time span there I thought "I have a baby I need to settle down" and I blogged a lot during that time.. leading the interwebbed world to believe I was "ANXIOUS ANXIOUS ANXIOUS NOW NOW NOW" when the truth is.. it was only a short time span and after God healed me in that cabin I was not in pursuit of matters of the heart because I trusted God in what He was doing in my life.. in fact I became confident in most areas of my life and this confidence somehow awakened the interest of several (nameless) men in my life....

at one point I had far more than one male in romantic pursuit of me, and during that time I had a flurry of emotions... I didn't know how to go about my days.. I didn't want to be in a relationship that was romantic, I didn't see how I could pursue any kind of relationship with these several men, and I didn't want to lose their friendships...

during this time I wrote the blog "In search of Dry Land".. because I was swimming in emotions and thought I was going to drown in them...

during this time of my life I sort of clung to a blooming friendship with the boy Ethan I met in Alta... He was reserved, he kept to himself and he needed a little more pursuading to hang out than the other boys I met in Alta.. but for some reason my subconscious and at times my conscious always wanted him there...

Pretty soon he didn't need anymore convincing, in fact it gradually became that I was spending most of my time with him, and he in more than one way became my best friend...

We became "attached at the hip" as our mutual friend Alex has been quoted saying.. We did everything together...It was like that feeling you have with your girlfriends (this is for the girls out there) where you go to a sleepover and you girl talk until all hours of the morning, and time never seems to go by, and the conversation never runs dry... that was how my time with Ethan was... and a spark lit inside of me.. but I chose to ignore it for some time...

And then he went away to a conference for a weekend... and the morning he left I woke up and something hurt inside of me... and the spark I had lit turned into a flame and I realized.. my feelings were deeper than I chose to acknowledge and the ache I felt in his absence sucked...

When he came back we were even closer... we began to cuddle whenever we were places together watching movies, we went on more dates with just the two of us...during that time he went to his hometown and my heart grew fonder while he was gone, and then I went to my hometown for a week and a half and my heart grew extremely fonder during that time as well... and so as it would appear.. his did too...

I constantly clung to my cell phone in hopes of getting any kind of text from him, and everytime I did.. my heart would race and I would get butterflies...

(I know you all just vomited in your mouth a little bit)

However, this is how someone is supposed to make you feel...

and it just went to show me that when things aren't pursued.. they find you...

and sometimes happiness is buried in an area of your life where you would least expect it...

With all of my brewing emotions for him I knew we had to talk about what it was that we were doing... we needed to establish something.. parameters.. boundaries.. a status even...

So when I got back to Chico, we initiated that talk... and established that we both longed to be together.. so it became official...

We didn't take that decision lightly, and we didn't rush into anything...

Awhile back I wrote a superficial list of who I wanted the man I was supposed to be with to be...

I wrote this in a very pragmatic state of mind, so I in no way planned for the man I wanted to meet all that criteria.. a lot of it was disposable anyway...

but to sum it all up, I think what anyone should look for in a partner is someone they could safely say is also their best friend..

and I have found that..

And to close I would like to add what Ethan said the day he made me his girlfriend..

"I pray God smiles on what we have"

God be with you, my loyal readers.

Amen.