anyone else??
Am I the only one that is ever self absorbed??
I am willing to bet I am not...
here's the thing.. we are constantly trying to perfect ourselves.. striving for an unlimited bar of perfection that really doesn't exist....
we look at the world around us and the people around us and we want to be like it/them, or what we THINK it or they are....
here's the thing..
everything is a facade.
Nothing is what it seems.
The world around us is a mirage we perceive when the things in our lives are not what we'd like..
am I throwing ideas out there that are too vague??? here... allow me to elaborate.
I was talking to a friend, and she (like me) suffers from depression... and she (like me) is vastly insecure... however she unlike me is younger than me and single and childless and has about 10 more years to really catch up with me.. but that's asides the point...
here is how the conversation went:
it started out with her stating an aspect of her appearance that she was insecure about, and I told her I completely understood but to imagine how I see her.... I think she is gorgeous.. and I know we are the worst critics of ourselves... but wouldn't it be nice to see ourselves how others see us everyonce in awhile because maybe then we would be nicer or kinder to ourselves...etc etc...
she then continued with how she thought nobody could love her... and I know EXACTLY what she's getting at..
it's beyond superficial surface area things... it's much deeper than that..
For YEARS before I met my husband I felt the exact same way.. I thought to myself.. if someone really knew me, if they knew my flaws, knew my dark parts, knew my ugliness, and brokiness, could they love me??? Wouldn't I scare them away???
and here's the thing..
I've said it a thousand times before and I will say it a thousand more...
WE LIVE IN A BROKEN WORLD
we are all broken, we have all fallen, none of us is perfect, we are all flawed we all have self inflicted "ugliness" about us... ALL OF US..
Nobody is perfect, the world is not perfect.. stop comparing yourself to the myth!
if my logic was accurate that people wouldn't love me because of my imperfections and blahdy blah.. then by that same logic NOBODY WOULD EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE.. because SPOILER ALERT.. we are all imperfect.
people present themselves a certain way all the time... it's a presentation.. we all want to seem like we have it together, we all want to seem like our lives are quaint and dandy and there is no darkness, no brokenness no ugliness but this is a facade.. one we all have...
looking at me the first time you meet me I am probably smiling, social, joking around.. your impression of me can only stem from what I put out there what you can see.. nobody has x-ray vision into the soul..
it they did this world would be a much different place and our perception would be more skewed than it is..
chew on that for a bit..
ok moving on.
there's an expression i've most likely stated before in previous blogs...
"Comparison is the Thief of Joy"
another expression is "don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highligh reel"
People don't post ugly pictures of themselves, they don't blast statuses on twitter and facebook about how miserable their lifes are all the time.. some do, believe me I have... but for the most case people want to seem (appearically) that they've got it together, that they are happy, that they're living in the lap of luxury, that they were genetically blessed with just the right chemical balances and levels of serotonin, that life is a cake walk, that they always look done up and pretty/handsome... that they are master chefs, that they have the material things that are to be envied, but these are all clever ploys to feed the myth...
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO THE MYTH.
whenever I go on pinterest I always leave feeling like I am NOT doing ENOUGH or that I MYSELF am not ENOUGH.. I think to myself...
"look at all these people with their clean kitchens and their gourmet meals for every meal, that they manage to eat and still maintain washboard abs that they show off when they take their kids to the park for some clever family activity and craft that makes others' oo and aww, not to mention their ensemble is so well planned out and their hair and make up are something that the stepford wives would envy...and then they come home to their perfectly tidy home that is furnished in just the right furnishings and I think wow... these people got it made..."
but here's the thing.. another spoiler alert... the person I just described is a myth. They don't exist..
those mommy bloggers, at home chefs, crafting divas... those people that post those amazing pins on pinterest.. even THEY don't have it all together.. yes in the pictures it looks like they have the tidy abode, and the delicious meals all the time.. but these are just highlights.. they aren't showing you the behind the scenes.. they don't show you the messy dishes after the meal, or the sticky mess that gets on the floor... they aren't showing you their kids running around thrashing the house right after they clean it, they aren't showing you the times they don't shower for days and live in sweatpants and messy buns, or that sometimes they scream at their kids irrationally in the Target parking lot..
just me?
OK
They are just showing you what they want to show you. The good parts.. even if they are a facade...
Life is chaotic, a bit messy, a bit ugly, and a lot a bit broken.. maybe it's good that we do highlight that parts that do go well and the stuff that is wonderful.. but that's not the whole story for me.. or anybody else.. so do me a favor... don't compare yourself to the myth..
and remember you are loved, you are cherished, you are treasured and you are ENOUGH.
much love, Erin.
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