it's Saturday, and I am the only one who doesn't seem to have plans.
I need a job,
or a life.
blah.. wahh wahh wahh....
I should make it my goal to find out who I am.
because I seriously am tired of feeling this lost.
I'm finding myself searching through an encylopedia of identities, usually other people's identities and trying to claim one as my own, I am not comfortable in my own skin anymore, in my own mind or in my own heart, If I had a figment of existence I could call my own I would give it out to everyone and anyone around me, but I am simply lost.
I never had identity issues until about a week ago.
and it's the weirdest/emotional feeling I have ever experienced in this genre of feelings..
ok, I must look at the bright side.
-I am moving in two weeks.
-I am getting a kitten.
-I have friends who love me more than life itself
-I have God who created me for some purpose i have yet to discover, but he loves me even as i want to forsake love.
-I have fell in love with three new musicians/bands lately.
*Jon Foreman (thanks to local honey who bought me his cds fall and winter)
* Gregory and the Hawk (thanks to maxx, and the myspace news feed)
* The album raising sand (an amazing joint project between Robert Plant and Alison Krauss)
-School is almost over.
-it's bathing suit season
- I think I am actually getting a bit tan (weird since I am Irish)
- Hiking is making cellulite dissipate (yea let's hear it for vanity)
- today in the plaza there was a mini person rock band (mini person meaning child) and it was really good/ cute.
-it's a good thing love is not conditional because I've been so emotional/psychotic lately in my discovery of the loss of myself that I would be terrified to even know me, yet the people who claim to love me are still around, and I think that is actually love.
well.. that was my first blog post, no doubt that nobody will read this, but anywho, I have to go get a mothers day card for my mom, or else she will raise hell all the way from san diego. tata.
