SO it's been awhile since I posted on this blog, about my life. And let's just say there is a lot to catch my readers up on.
For one Thing, I am engaged. I am getting married in 55 days actually, Ethan got a job in San Diego and moved there yesterday, and I join him in July.. I graduated Chico State but I am finishing up the very last unit of my degree with a dance class at butte College.. and when that is done and transferred.. the rest of my life is ready to begin.
A lot of changes have been occurring in my life. Good ones be it, but changes nonetheless.. I tend to be the person who walks through life like everything and every moment is forever. When change happens I have a really hard time coping, even if it's good change. I'm an idealist and my ideal life would be that when everything seemed to be what you wanted it would stay that way.. forever... wouldn't get better, wouldn't get worse... but then that wouldn't be life now would it?
Today I dropped Katarina off at her last day of Day care... the place I brought her to every week since she was 9 months old, the teachers i've built relationships with, all the cognitive developments Katarina has began there... now it's all part of the past. (sorry if I seem jumbled, I am strewn with emotions right now)
As I was leaving they handed me a paper with a bunch of pictures of Katarina and a goodbye note.... "You loved this, you played with this, this person was your best friend..yada yada have fun in San Diego" As I left the teachers wished me "good luck" and the chair of the school awaited me outside and said. "Enjoy your new life"... It all felt surreal, like this whole time I was watching someone else live their life, make their decisions, and it was all very cool and exciting, and then all of the sudden that person was me.... and now I am very.. very.. involved.
6 YEARS AGO I ran as far away as I could from the place I had come to know my whole life... the ocean, mexican food, all the people I grew up with.. I ran away left it all behind. Ran to a different place, different climate, different people, different food, different EVERYTHING.. I thought I would never adapt, and I did it alone...
Now After everything that has happened here, the people i've met, having my daughter, falling in love, finishing school, all very big life moments that I have in my mind merely "checked off" the proverbial "check list" and now I am about to start a whole new great big adventure... in this ever flowing stream called life...
I am sad, I will miss the people I have here, this sense of home I have never felt anywhere else is going to be left behind... I am now having to face my past as if it were a stranger.. which it is a stranger because it's synonymous with my present and my future.. and let's just say.. "it's tense" LOL...God's plans are so much greater and bigger than anything I can fathom.. and having gotten to this point has only proved that...I don't know what all this rambling is about but I guess what I am trying to say, is pray for me, that this transitionary period is smooth and everyone is able to adapt... easily in this new and exciting stage of life, and that I can appreciate and enjoy every second of it.. because life isn't a check list.. it's a once in a lifetime event.. that should be treasured.
Thanks for reading, I love you all. God be with us All.. AMEN.
